A Short Interview with Jessica

[Reading time: 3 minutes 30 seconds]

Jessica took the Time Management class and was so enthusiastic I wanted to capture her experience of the class and share her hope and excitement. Here's an excerpt of a mini-interview we did:

Jessica:
In the past, time management had this connotation of being regimented and although I do well with structure, too much of it makes me feel trapped. But I need some or I'll just let time go by and not get anything done. Looking at this from the viewpoint of my brain has given me hope and an understanding I didn't have before.

I still need to learn more about how to help my brain with things like organization and mental flexibility. And I still don't know about my goal-directed persistence because sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't. I find that sometimes I'm great at task initiation (because I just want to get it over with) but sometimes I'm not (because I'm dreading it). I feel like I'm on a journey of trying to figure this out!

Mary Ellen:
Yes! This approach to managing time through the lens of how the brain works is really an evolution (no pun intended). I am still learning about how my brain works and I've been at this almost ten years...

When you're evaluating your goal-directed persistence or task initiation, think about how that skill shows up when you're doing something that you don't really like or want to do because it's generally easy to do things that are enjoyable. So this is really about using the skill in spite of the task. People who have very strong goal-directed persistence are going to finish things because their brains won't let them rest until it's done - whether it's fun or not.

Jessica: 
I use a Google calendar and a digital To Do list that I can add things to when I'm not near my computer. This seems to work well because I almost always have my phone and then I'm not trying to track down little pieces of paper with notes.  I don't use a paper planner anymore and with this system, I'm able to keep track of things on the fly.

Mary Ellen:
Digital lists work for some people. For others, it's just a big black hole where tasks get dumped and then forgotten. Anyone with a  weak working memory will also find it hard to remember info that might be hidden under a webpage or window. For me, too many open tabs and windows are practically impossible to keep straight.

But here's the thing: If a digital task list works for you, keep using it! Don't change any tool just because I say it's better... only change something if your brain is struggling. The key is to use whatever tools fit you.

Jessica:
In addition to my 40-hour a week job, I'm a professional violinist and I need to spend time pretty much every day keeping up my skills or practicing for a concert. I love playing the violin but there are times when I'm too tired to practice and even setting a timer for 15 minutes feels like too much. I may set the timer anyway - but I find that I keep checking to see when it's going to go off.

Mary Ellen:
When that happens, give yourself permission to set the timer for a shorter time: 10 minutes or even 5 is okay. Using a timer to help you get started is just about getting yourself to take some action and often what happens is that you'll reset it again and again. You'll feel like you're accomplishing something and hitting your goal if you can "win" a lot.

Here's something else to consider: If you're setting it for 5 minutes and that still feels like too much, take stock of how your body feels. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Exhausted from a stressful day? It's metacognition - that inner voice - that can help you tune into whether or not you do have the energy at that moment in time. You may want to scratch the task off your list but if your physical body is tapped out and you simply don't have the wherewithal to practice right then, it's going to feel like a slog. This is why I encourage people to do the especially tough tasks at the beginning of the day. (Not that playing the violin is a tough task.)

Jessica:  
Where I struggle is when I have too many "really important" things to do in one day - especially the morning: I really need to work out and practice the violin and the kitchen is a mess. I can't do all these things so do I spend less time on each - or just pick one?

Mary Ellen:
When you feel anxiety about not having enough time to finish one of these morning tasks, that's very likely about strong goal-directed persistence. Your brain wants to make sure the task can be scratched off the list!

If you can't do any one of those things to the degree that you feel good about, are you telling yourself that you're short-changing your goals or commitments? Or in the case of the kitchen, if you can't get it all cleaned up at once, why bother if you'll have to do (what feels like) the same task again later?

This is a great case for breaking tasks into smaller chunks:

1. Restructure your workout into 3-4 distinct sections so you can more easily pick one that can be your morning workout. Keep the sections attainable so you will do them and get that feeling of accomplishment when you've completed it. Maybe it's okay to not do the whole workout in one fell swoop...?
2. Give yourself permission/credit to play the violin for a short time - like 10 minutes (as opposed to 30). Use positive language and call it "My Morning Muse" or "Freedom to play from the heart". Maybe playing the violin even just a little will give you a shot of endorphins that will set the tone for the rest of the morning!
3. The kitchen is an on-going chore (unless you're like us and have an ant issue in which case, it's probably better to clean it up the night before. hehe :)
   Maybe the mornings could be about one kitchen task: Clear the counter, empty the sink, take the recycling out.

Jessica:
Yes! This reminds me of when I was at Burning Man and my bike got 2 flats. Two!

There I was standing in the desert heat with two flat tires, far from my camp, far from anything and I thought of a line from the movie 42, where Chadwick Boseman (who plays Jackie Robinson) says "You have to see the ball coming at you slowly."

So I told myself, "I need to see this coming slowly. OK - What's the thing I just need to do right now? Right now, I need to assess the situation. What do I have here to fix a tire? I have a bike repair kit..."

I chunked the whole problem down to the tiniest, smallest next step and all of a sudden, it felt eminently doable because I wasn't looking at the enormity of the huge problem I had. (I'm in a desert, I'm not mechanically-minded, I don't know anybody...) Instead I kept asking myself "What's the next right step? What's the next right step?"

As I did that, I found that my next step was always pretty evident: I need to do this; now I need to do that. Breaking things into smaller steps definitely worked for me that day.

Here's a photo of Jessica with the tools:

Thank you Jessica for your willingness to share your success and enthusiasm!

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